COMMUNITY OF SPICE a newsletter for clergy spouses by clergy spouses

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What is it like for your children?
 
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PK questionnaire
Below are the questions we asked PK's (Preacher's Kids) from around the world.  Most of the responses were not from subscribers.
  1. How old are you?
  2. What is the denomination in which you grew up?
  3. Do you still count yourself as a part of that denomination?
  4. Which parent is ordained and what was your age when s/he was ordained?
  5. How often did you attend church as a child?
  6. If you are married, did you marry someone involved in the church?
  7. Was that a consideration when you looked for a spouse?
  8. Do you attend church, now?
  9. How often?
  10. If you don't attend now, do you believe that having children will change that (or did having children change your involvement in the church)? 
  11. If you're not active in church now, what do you see as some of the reasons?
    12.  
    In regards to church attendance:
  12. What will you do (or do you do) differently with your children than your parents did with you?
  13. What did your parents do well?
  14. What do you wish your parents had done differently?
  15. What did parishioners, parishes, dioceses do well?
  16. What do you wish parishioners, parishes, dioceses had done differently?

41 year old, male, Episcopal Church

1.-3.  41 year old male, I grew up Episcopalian.  I am a practicing atheist now.

4.-5.  I was born while my father was in seminary at Yale.  I attended church weekly until I was about 13 years old at which time my father sat me down and said that I was old enough to make my own decisions about religion and it was up to me about if or how often I attended Church.  With the exception of Easter and Christmas (so I wouldn't offend the family) I stopped attending.

6.-11.  In college I met and eventually married another PK.  We now have 2 children (12 and 10 years old) none of us attend church.  Our children are free to attend church with their friends if they choose (when at a sleepover for example) and we talk openly about Christianity and other monotheistic and polytheistic beliefs. We share our religious histories and personal beliefs and are clear about how they will make choices regarding their spiritual beliefs at some point too.

I was raised by loving caring parents that never force-fed me religion even though my father was a priest.  My mother was an educated woman who never took the traditional 'preacher's wife' role too far. My decision to separate myself from the church was not a reaction to bad experiences, or religious overdose, it just never made sense to me. I never bought Christianity, the story. Even today whenever I hear a church congregation of adults chant the Nicene Creed, it makes no sense to me.  Why do so many believe this?!

13.  Respected my ability to analyze, question and choose.

14.  On this subject they did a great job, thanks Dad and Mom!

1505 Deerfield Drive
Oshkosh, WI 54904
Karen D. Powers
Publisher and Senior Editor

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