COMMUNITY OF SPICE a newsletter for clergy spouses by clergy spouses

Home
Newsletter Excerpts
Subscription Information

Editorial Board
Discussion Board
Links
 
What is it like for your children?
 
PK Responses
Older issues
Guest Column
PK questionnaire
Below are the questions we asked PK's (Preacher's Kids) from around the world.  Most of the responses were not from subscribers.
  1. How old are you?
  2. What is the denomination in which you grew up?
  3. Do you still count yourself as a part of that denomination?
  4. Which parent is ordained and what was your age when s/he was ordained?
  5. How often did you attend church as a child?
  6. If you are married, did you marry someone involved in the church?
  7. Was that a consideration when you looked for a spouse?
  8. Do you attend church, now?
  9. How often?
  10. If you don't attend now, do you believe that having children will change that (or did having children change your involvement in the church)? 
  11. If you're not active in church now, what do you see as some of the reasons?
    12.  
    In regards to church attendance:
  12. What will you do (or do you do) differently with your children than your parents did with you?
  13. What did your parents do well?
  14. What do you wish your parents had done differently?
  15. What did parishioners, parishes, dioceses do well?
  16. What do you wish parishioners, parishes, dioceses had done differently?

32 year old, female, Presbyterian Church

1.-3. I am a 32 year old female.  I grew up in the Presbyterian Church.  I have a Master of Divinity and Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy from Louisville Presbyterian Seminary and have been a pastoral counselor for almost 2 years.  I am seeking ordination through the Presbytery in which I am working. 

4.-5. My father was ordained shortly before I was born.  My mother has her Masters in Christian Education, obtained before I was born.  We attended worship and Sunday school weekly, even attending worship when on vacation.  When my sister and I got older we attended the youth activities each week.  One church my father was at had youth activities Sunday night, another one had them on Wednesdays.  So on average, we were at church activities 2x a week.
 
6.-16. As an adult I see now how my parents allowed the church as an institution, as well as individuals in the congregation to push them around.  There were times they did not stand up for themselves.  I would hope to show my children that in order to show God's love to all, we also need to stand up for ourselves.  Sometimes that means tough love.   I wish my parents could have been able to stand up for themselves.

I think my parents had some difficult times in the small churches they were in.  I wish the Presbytery had been more supportive to them when the congregations weren't being supportive.  One of the dreams I have is to be a pastoral counselor to pastors and their families.  To be a support to those pastors who are dealing with personal or professional issues. 

 I recognize that the church is an institution created by humans, so of course, it's not perfect.  I think my parents were able to shield us from a lot of the drama that went on, and I applaud them for that.  They didn't bring us into the craziness as children. 

I think congregations and the church as an institution expects pastors to be close to perfect.  There needs to be room for pastors and their families to be human.  I think that can be a very powerful teaching tool if congregations can be open enough to accept it.

1505 Deerfield Drive
Oshkosh, WI 54904
Karen D. Powers
Publisher and Senior Editor

Contact us!