COMMUNITY OF SPICE a newsletter for clergy spouses by clergy spouses

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What is it like for your children?
 
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PK questionnaire
Below are the questions we asked PK's (Preacher's Kids) from around the world.  Most of the responses were not from subscribers.
  1. How old are you?
  2. What is the denomination in which you grew up?
  3. Do you still count yourself as a part of that denomination?
  4. Which parent is ordained and what was your age when s/he was ordained?
  5. How often did you attend church as a child?
  6. If you are married, did you marry someone involved in the church?
  7. Was that a consideration when you looked for a spouse?
  8. Do you attend church, now?
  9. How often?
  10. If you don't attend now, do you believe that having children will change that (or did having children change your involvement in the church)? 
  11. If you're not active in church now, what do you see as some of the reasons?
    12.  
    In regards to church attendance:
  12. What will you do (or do you do) differently with your children than your parents did with you?
  13. What did your parents do well?
  14. What do you wish your parents had done differently?
  15. What did parishioners, parishes, dioceses do well?
  16. What do you wish parishioners, parishes, dioceses had done differently?

31 year old, male, Episcopal Church

1.-3.  31 year old male.  Episcopal.  Not particularly.

4.-5.  Dad first, before I was born; Mom when I was 17 (I think).  Every week, nearly without fail.

6.-7.  Am married but did not marry someone involved in the church,  Not especially.

8.-9.  Very rarely.  I visit Christian churches essentially only when visiting my family, and do make the occasional visit to Shinto shrines.

12.  Not sure yet. I'd like to find a way to have any of our future children involved in some sort of spiritual community without limiting their spiritual outlook to one sect/faith.

13.  They were good at communicating that faith--and churchgoing--should be a joy rather than a bother.  And they have been very supportive of the path I've taken, even though it involved me marrying someone who is at least nominally a Buddhist. Their willingness to appreciate other faiths, in my view, elevates their Christianity.

14.  More stories from our father would have been nice. It's hard to really criticize any choices my parents made for us with regard to religion--given their position as priests, it still seems to me a given that we would go to church every week.  As a teenager, though, I did find it incredibly tedious and not terribly inspiring.  My parents did a good job, I think, of trying to convince parishioners that faith is a way of life and a call to action, but people being people, many were just there on Sunday to "receive" religion, or were likely looking for a mere social connection to others.

15.-16.  See above. I tend to sympathize with Kierkegaard in his complaint that Christianity has lost much of its original meaning for being so pervasive.  (Mind you, he was writing in early 1800's Europe, when EVERYBODY was a Christian.  Perhaps Christianity is more meaningful now that it's more optional--and for that, maybe conservatives ought to be WELCOMING declining church attendance).  While I recognize the necessity for believers in a common faith to organize, established religions seem to easily become crucibles for complacency and passivity.  This is not very helpful for a youth full of piss and vinegar (pardon my French) who's trying to figure out what the world is all about, and is convinced there's got to be more than Sunday repetition.  This is not to voice the typical atheist's histrionic claims (while quoting Marx) about churchgoers being mere sheep and blah-blah-blah, but Christians often do seem to be worshipping church rather than God. 

Speaking more broadly, I suppose I'm not alone in largely blaming Paul for making Christianity a religion "about" Jesus rather than the religion "of" Jesus.  I think Jesus might be very confused if he were to stop in at a typical Christian church today.  He may even overturn a table or two.

1505 Deerfield Drive
Oshkosh, WI 54904
Karen D. Powers
Publisher and Senior Editor

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